Management

When you join the circus, they divide your salary into 138 bits and reassure you this is to make sure you pay minimum tax. Since most people find tax too taxing and complicated, the bogus explanation is sold. After all, nothing like paying less taxes.
But when one receives the first salary, the pinch starts. "Hey, this is less than what I got in my previous job," I have heard many blokes saying. Poor souls!
Gradually, they get used to the grind and accept things as fait accompli. Those who don’t, leave immediately.
Those condemned to stay back, have a time to rejoice. This is at the time of the bonus distribution.
Poor souls!
"O, I’ve got 90%!" Some are happy at even 70%. No need to mention those who get 100%. They are on top of the world.
Listen, guys! When they showed your package, they added 100% of this bonus as your salary. Now, they hold back a percentage of it and literally rob you but you are so happy?
Even those who get 100% would earn more if the amount is ditributed monthly and it is left in a savings bank account for 13 months, — the earliest time when they hand you over the money.
But I guess what matters is that they manage to keep you happy, even if they steal from your pocket.

Be(e)di Jalgayi

It’s becoming clearer by the day that newly-wed Alankari from the East has rekindled Pile-on's fire. After claiming to be a sanyasi, who renounced worldly pleasures, Pile-on has become like Vishwamitra, whose tapas was broken by Menaka. The only difference being, this Menaka did not have to dance before Sardar Vishwamitra. She only had to stare at him.

What he finds in her, still intrigues me but there is no doubt Vishwamitra has been smitten.

Gone are the days when truck driver numbers on his juke box gave no respite to people with a better taste and headache to everyone. The songs now we hear are those coochi-cooing love numbers: Mera dil itna pagal hai, Mana hai tu bahad hase... The songs however seem to be lost on her.

And it doesn't end here: She has become the star Alankari for the premier page. But despite best attempts, Alankari is unable to come up with any imaginative graphs as she has not started accessing foreign newspapers for 'inspiration'. Morality has another problem with her: She takes several hours to make a chart.

Pile-on must be left wondering, 'O, why did she not come here a little early? I could have then recommended a double promotion and hike of Rs 25,000 for her'.

CC

Use the lounge

While PMOTB wastes his time looking for distractions elsewhere, he is missing in-house opportunity. On a day when he chose to be on leave, she came to office wearing a white T-shirt that said: 'Free Lounge For Crusaders. Open 24 Hours'.

I always feel like reading T-shirt messages but avoid it when women wear them for fear that they would think I was staring at something else. Somehow, I read this one and that too loud. She started laughing, embarrassed, to add: "My friend was asking, 'why did you get this T-shirt'. I told her I did not read the message before I bought them."

"Open 24-hours?" I asked, to add to her embarrassment. I am not quite sure the message was meant for Crusaders or Jihadis. I think it could be one of her desperate measures since the Stud has been courting Alankari. Most of the time she was found standing in front of the Stud with the message: "Open 24 hours."

CC

Pile-on & Passive

Pile-on: Raam-raam sahen saheb
Passive: Saab ko salam
Pile-on: Arre Partition ka kaafi log sarahana kiya he. mai khud bhi dang hoon is baat se
Passive: It was certainly different
Pile-on: TK ne sms kiya ki brilliant he, saala aaj tak nahin kiya usne
Passive: Tab to dam tha. He has been somewhat critical of earlier pieces
Pile-on: Saaron ka nahin. Sirf woh think ka aur mona lisa waala baaki uske theek lage the, par aisa sms usne kabhi nahin bheja
Passive: Sir leave journalism as be a fulltime writer, waise aap journalist ke roop me bhi kafi hit rahe
Pile-on: Loda hit rahe kuch nahin hit rahe.

Imelda's insights

Imelda: Yooohooo

Me: Hello!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't know you had gone already, how many days?

Imelda: That’s how much you pay attention despite me making so much noise around you. Back 25^th Sat. Sun at work

Me: No, I thought you were on leave. Since Rotawala took his PL, I said how come Imelda too is not there? Then Morality said, “she's in London.” Seen the Queen? Beware of her husband, he is a lech

Imelda: I left Monday. No queen yet. Who's managing morning shift? Billow?

Me: It was like a headless chicken, Billow too disappeared, Rakshas was so hassled

Imelda: She too on leave? Wow!

Me: Yeah, some people take leave at the opportune moment :)

Imelda: Lovely! That's what he gets for spoon feeding her. She's gone off with his balls!

Me: Yeah, he's getting it from everyone. Today Morality took him on in front of TK, before that it was Passive Watcher's turn. Rakshas never had balls.

Imelda: :-)

Me: That is why he is so angry. He thinks it's an unfair world

Imelda: But Billow is amazing

Me: Yeah, she came today. To add to the mystery, Bajrangi and Friday too disappeared together, surfaced today. I think there is something happening

Me: Old man Bajrangi is getting naughty

Imelda: It is a circus

Me: Now it's more like a zoo

Imelda: Billow os very confident. Just doesn't want to take responsibility, plays dumb

Me: So Bajrnagi is the perfect anti-dote for her

Imelda: All afternoon she’s tracking the markets

Me: Big-time investor?

Imelda: She deserved to be yelled. First thing she does when she enters off. is to check an redo makeup

Me: But she is so loud and jarring in her attire and costume

Imelda: That's Lucknawi-ishtile

Me: But has Rakshas taken a fancy towards her?

Imelda: Sometimes I feel he has, keeps calling her to his desk for trivial issues

Me: And what else does he do to her?

Imelda: no idea as to do...but tries… tries to strike up a convo. but intimidates her

Me: The guy has some guts after having a record

Imelda: He questions aggressively and she’s got no answer; then, when there's extra work, he makes layouts and selects stories for her. He does most of the work when she’s thru

Me: Must be expecting something in return

Imelda: One day, when he had done work for her, I too gave my dummy and said make the layout and give stories, he looked at me blankly.

Me: But anyway poor taste, Rakshas likes bulky round-shaped women

Imelda: He's an under-confident specimen, that’s why he's so loud, he tries to cover up his shortcomings by being loud. u know I cant keep quite and end up questioning him about a lot of issues, and he lays off

Me: He's an overgrown kid, problem starts at home, his father treats him like a kid....these days he's having a fight with Bajrangi

Imelda: u know why? I might have an insight. Bajrangi is gaining territory

Me: Has he successfully activated the Panditji link with Ringmaster?

Imelda: Rakshas is getting cramped. Rotawala is out of the way and no threat. Now, that Namkeen-wala has been constantly complaning abt Bajrangi

Imelda: And Rakshas asked me what to do..,and I said, let something happen in front of you and then deal with Bajrangi. Its called creeping acquisition...to gain territory..pushed out Rotawala and so it’s Bajrangi’s turn.

Me: How is Bajrangi gaining ground?

Imelda: Little, little...charts, graphics, Friday

Me: I am supporting Rakshas in his battle against Bajrangi

Imelda: Bajrangi is a cancer, he will need to be cut out

Me: Yeah, charts graphs, ok but Friday, Rakshas will never forgive him

Imelda: Namkeenwala said things to Rakshad what Bajrangi had said about him; that’s peeved him

Imelda: No one likes to hear bad things about themselves and that to constantly, Thats why Rakshas wants to act soon

Me: Yeah, good Namkeenwala too has his uses; such a good weapon, diamond cuts diamond.

Me: Let's get Bajrangi and Rakshas to fight. I hear that they bitch in public now.

Imelda: That will happen. It’s on the verge of boiling point

Me: Then we will say, go Rakshas, go!

Imelda: He's a bad man manager, that’s because of no sex, daaru is his downfall

Me: Someone must go meet his father and tell the damage he is doing to his son and whoever comes across him.

Abidali's thanksgiving

When the company pays for your rented house and when you get rent from your own house, you have to say "thank you" to those responsible for it in someway? Pile-on may say that is not necessary but Ahmedshah Abidali, the erstwhile viceroy of the kingdom and now the de facto king, thinks he has to keep some of the people who matter humoured.

So he pays a monthly visit to the Capital, and after collecting the rent in cash (unaccounted black money), he spends a part of it on Pile-on and his chelas. To have a smooth run of the kingdom, he also pays obeisance to the present viceroy Del Piero too. Also invited for the binge at the Capital's waterhole is Rakshas.

Yesterday was one such occasion when Abdiali threw a party. Our correspondent, who gatecrashed for the occasion, failed to file his copy. So we are left guessing as to what happened there. Did Rakshas throw up after consuming too much free booze? Did Pile-on transfer the whole team to some 24-hour restaurant or teka to continue the binge after the cats took over the waterhole? Did Pile-on's chelas create a ruckus? Hopefully, our correspondent will be able to tell us something today.

But one thing that can be said for sure is that Ahmedshah must have missed Chipkili falling all over him during his trip back home this time. I am told he used to wear a helmet, apart from the seat belt, because he feared an accident would occur any time with Chipkili precariously falling all over him. But he could never resist those drives which ended with the act of transferring a semi-conscious Chipkili from his car into her bed.

Price hike

Dum-dum has jacked up the price of his ass. After several rounds of talks with the competition commission, he has fixed a rate of Rs 45,000 for Bajrangi and Rakshas to take his ass.

One man, many posts

The news at this hour

Lottery winner

The guy who drew the picture of a spotted suitcase for a story on tribals fighting mining MNCs to retain their land is said to have booked a flat in anticipation of a major hike that is imminent for him. Mr Pile-on has assured him that this was his year. He is expecting a 300% hike and triple promotion. Last year’s lottery winner is supposed to have asked Pile-on, “maine kya kiya,” in his typical sing-song voice after he felt that he was being passed over for this year’s lottery. But Pile-on is supposed to have asked him, “Didn’t you get a mini, flying, lottery this month?”

Blame the headmaster

Pile-on has found newer methods to pile on. People who refuse to buy him daru and feed him anymore, are now burdened to read his short stories. One of Pile-on’s economic offences victims is supposed to have told our correspondent, “this torture is even more unbearable. Earlier, I had to just borrow from the money-lender to feed him. Now he forces me to read his short stories and asks me to comment on them. Frankly, I am unable to go through it because it has no theme or idea. He writes something to use some new words he has just learnt.”

Our Dehra Dun correspondent adds that Pile-on had developed a complex after he was shifted to a government school and this was his way of getting back at whoever was responsible in denying him a decent education.

Freedom

It is now reliably learnt that the Always Amused Man (Aam) was inducted in the last minute to take care of the ‘Freedom 16’ issue. The original pundits in charge, Messrs Sai Baba and Snake & Ladder, found the going tough and the Ringmaster intervened in time to get Aam into the act. The trio is supposed to be troubled by the thought that the nation is not yet free from mosquitoes despite tall claims. Meanwhile our correspondent was left asking, how many more years before they free us from crap?

Swift stays

Swift will stay in the circus, according to our autorickshaw correspondent. Her efforts to join a portal have been described as just a clever effort to gain a good raise. Though most popular with the previous Ringmaster, Swift found that her boot did not appeal to the new Ringmaster and hence the attempt to try other methods to keep the raise coming.

Kaliyug

After failing to catch the Ringmaster's eye despite trying his tricks at video-conferences and morning meetings, Bajrangi is a little crestfallen these days.
A crestfallen Bajrangi is something that most look forward to, but not Rakshas. If at all there is a person's affection for which Rotawala and Rakshas competes, it is Bajrangi's. I still don’t know why. The probable explanation is that they need him to do their dirty work, to divert the hatred, to deflect the number of abuses heaped by colleagues, to divide the number of flat tyres...
Last night, when I was in the car with Rotawala, he told me, "we were not considered for the high-flier award because of our seniority." "But I thought Ringmaster specified what was senior in terms of the award," I said.
Then it struck me: This must have been the explanation that Rakshas must have given Bajrangi. Poor Rotawala, who himself needed some consolation, just fell for the explanation and furthered it. I did not hold it back. I told Rotawala from where, I thought, the explanation originated. Rotawala was silent...
Today, confirmation came from the Passive Watcher. Bajrangi repeated, word for word, what Rotawala had said. Since Rotawala did not deny my presumption, and since he did not claim to be the author of the ‘we were not considered because of seniority’ thesis, I think my guess is right. It was Rakshas consoling Bajrangi.
Once upon a time, Bajrang Bali set a Rakshas’ abode on fire. Now you need a Rakshas to console a Bajrangi!

Comma and colon

He was looking very happy and behaved like a licky Labrador that had met its master after a long time. Although Rakshas’ friendly overtures of late is not extraordinary, this one, I knew, had some special reason. Was he planning to ask me to have daru with him?
He did not keep me guessing for long. After the mandatory shake hand (another guy who insists on shaking your hand) he jumped to the topic. "Hey what is this wrong story going on your page? Don’t commit such blunders! Don’t you know it’s increment time?"
Now, increment time is something that does not bother me. I think the software is programmed. Ringmaster has his preferences and sadly a good number of them are duds, except for a Morality here or a Variety there. I almost made a face to indicate that increment is no weapon that could be used against me. But I was curious to know about this error because I remember going through the page thoroughly.
"What, where," I asked impatiently. He ran back to get a copy of the paper, opened the page and showed me the ‘blunder.’ "So what is wrong with it?" "Yaar, don’t you see that the main story is about CPM and BJP opposing the nuclear deal and this inset’s heading is also on the same. But you have some copy from Islamabad in it."
The copy from Islamabad was about Pakistan opposing the nuclear deal between India and US This was used as an inset in a report which talked about CPM’s and BJP’s opposition to the deal. I had to explain to Rakshas that the heading, ‘Look who is with CPM, BJP!’ meant the parties were in the same company as Pakistan.
"Oooooooooo, you meant that! OK! That is ALSO correct! What I thought you meant was that the BJP is with CPM." "Yeah that’s the main story, so why should the inset say the same?"
Rakshas does not seem to know where one uses a comma and where one would use a colon or dash. Or, may be, the eager beaver was trying to look for mistakes and fell for this one. (Hillgoat, use ‘&’ next time, no commas!).
But no sooner had I finished explaining, he left the scene. I thought I was at Sriharikota watching a PSLV launch.
CC

88 words

This is not some movie title like Hitchcock's 39 Steps. Some of you have already heard the story from me. This is for those who did not and for the record. After Funky's exit from our tent, Rakshas proudly presented before us with a 'teacher.' I soon realised that the teacher had to be taught some basics. He never knew there was something called a deadline. I still wonder how he choregraphed with Del Piero, without having an idea about deadlines. When I explained to him about the line of assembly operations that would see all our efforts put to waste if we don't meet the deadline, he looked so intense that I thought I had successfully conveyed the message. But the days that followed showed that the lesson was lost on the teacher. He has his own deadline. The intense look I saw was not a sign of his concentration. He is just dazed.

He is not a bad guy, neither is he a fool. He has experience, he has knowledge of the subject and grasp over the language. But he is always looking dazed. Dazed like he narrowly escaped an air crash and landed in office. If he is not dazed, he fiddles. The grid masters have made things bad enough. A fiddler on the page is the last thing I am longing for.

If he has made a good design, he invariably will fiddle with it for the second show. His reasoning: The stories were not long enough. "But what about using a photograph?" "Do we use photographs?" Now I feel he is mocking me. But he looks tense and I feel he is soon going to release his tension on me. The Perpetually Amused Man on front page had the other day told me a story about how the Teacher had broken a finger of some guy who used abusive language against him. I thought that warning was meant for someone else working with me but the intensity of Teacher's looks made me feel distinctly uncomfortable.

He has a disarming smile and he greets you invariably by shaking your hand. Now hand shake is something I dislike unless there is an occasion. Everyday greetings are best maintained with a genuine smile or a hello, I think. But the Teacher grips me with a handshake, daily.

To come back to the story, I told him: "yes we do use photos and you have used one here for the first show. Only the story has changed, you could have used another appropriate photo and this story would have not been short. In fact, it would have been excess by a hundred words." "No, no, no, it's not 100 words, it will be excess by 88 words," he contradicted me. I did not know whether to laugh or to cry. "Don't worry, he is a nice guy," PMOTB rubbed it in. I knew he was having his revenge because I did not specifically ask for him when Funky left. But that was because Rakshas had preempted the Teacher on me and at that moment, I had forgotten about PMOTB. What a torture to go through because I could not remember PMOTB's name!
CC

Friedman

Thomas Friedman was here recently and some of our 'friends' had the opportunity to meet him. The following is the conversation they had with him:
Jumbo: "Did you say the world is flat? I think the world is fat"
Rakshas: "No, no, the world is fart, and my tyre is flat"
Rotawal: "Teekae, jobhi, whatever...flat, fleet..."
Pile-on Bhatti: "Whatever it is, someone please ensure my stomach is not flat"
Naxal Das: "My stomach is flat and after two drinks, I am flat."
Bajarangi: "As DNE, I must add that Nancy's can never be flat"
Dum-dum: "If everything's so flat, how come I can't find a flat? (in Mumbai)
Tiwari: "I think world falt." (He meant the world is at fault)
CC: "Whatever you think of the world, my world is full of faltus"

Search continues

Gmat: kisko mila?
me: they are saying Bajrangi and TTLS. But i doubt it
They are happy and all
but still
Gmat: TTLS???
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me: Yes
its very confysing
Gmat: but
me: i know
am filing a case in SC
Gmat: human rights commission
me: right
how can Ringmaster be so stupid?
Feel like resigning
Gmat: they havnt given me salary for the July
me: why?
hey i heard there is cash component to the award too
Gmat: dont know.. will get in in August only.. had to cough up huge as flat security then the expenses on tranportation
me: ok
Hey how come two people 'got' the award in Delhi and only one in Mumabi
Gmat: all in all 15 in Circus
me: ok. The bastard didnt give me
will fuck Ringmaster
How is this James chap
IS he senior and all
Gmat: DNE
me: Is is salary high and all?
Gmat: Must be
me: bastard Bajrangi will screw me more now
No use working hard here
People like u and I do all the donkey's work and no reward
Gmat: paisa to dhobi ko hi milega... gadhe ko to laat hi milega
me: right. am resigning as soon as i get the hike, if any
Hey tell me something did the bombay guys get any mail about the award?
Gmat: it was sent to all user
me: nobody in Delhi got it yaar
Gmat: ok
PMOTB

In conversation with the Lizard

Chipkili: Hi
CC: Hello!
Chipkili: A little bird tells me that Bajrangi and TTLS! are this year's star performers in Delhi. TTLS?
CC: Yeah, something strange is happening, all kinds of people are getting money on some pretext or the other. I am told this TTLS has some connection with 4th floor
Chipkili: Hahahaahahaa
CC: Never heard of any such thing, did they give this to anyone in Bmy?
Chipkili: Yes
Someone I know? I don't know very many people in Bmy
Chipkili: James
CC: James Last?
James Bond?
Chipkili: :)
No no
I mean I don't know his last name
CC: Anyway good, they are giving money for some persons at least. Is James on the desk? Have never heard of him. I have heard of Kannan, Badra, Rajan, Shibu, Mahesh, Sartak, now you, Michael, Barun
Chipkili: James is on the desk. A very deserving candidate
CC: OK, oh I forgot Shubha. But may be they are trying to make up because she did not get hike last time, Bajrangi as you know is related to Vajpayee
Chipkili: She as in? TTLS?
CC: TTLS
Chipkili: OK
CC: But Rs 75,000 at one go is too good
I don't think that's the amount. I think the amount is Rs 30,000
CC: TTLS was showing the letter to everyone, she was jumping with joy, to be fair to her, she took us to press club
Chipkili: What?
CC: Yeah, Pankaj as usual said we need a party and she was more than willing
Chipkili: But what was her star performance?
CC: And there was a race to drop her home
Chipkili: What was her star performance that bypassed others
CC: I don't know, I am told she does centre pages well, then there is this rumour that she has connections, then someone says it's to make up for bad increment, God knows, whatever!
Chipkili: OK
CC: May be they drew lots as they found no one in Delhi up to the mark
Chipkili: 4th floor connections
CC: Or cud be pahari connection, Ring Master is also a pahari settled in Allahabad
Chipkili: Hahahahaaa'
CC: I think Pankaj also has got some money, he was talking about some Rs 30,000 but he has not told me, may be he felt bad
Chipkili: OK
Chipkili: They should have also given you
CC: Yeah, wish you were the editor
Chipkili: :P
CC: but if you reach that level, may be you will also talk management, forget old friends
Chipkili: Hahahahahaa! Didn't Bajrangi give u a vegetarian treat?
CC: Bajrangi was in two minds, he wanted to tell people that he is a high flier but refused to show the letter...but people saw him come out of the room
Chipkili: Then u should have grabbed him immediately when he came on the desk side
CC: How does it matter? If one gets a deal, which one thinks is better than what one is receiving now, one will quit
Chipkili: Of course, of course. But I was just talking of a treat. Should have broken Bajrangi's neck
CC: OK, he treats us everyday to puffed rice
Chipkili: And shows his generosity, right?
CC: Yeah, 365 days a year, all these years, very generous
Chipkili: Hahahahahaaa! Chalo, I think we have done too much of bitching
CC: I am told he gets touchy while distributing it to women
Chipkili: Hahahhaaaa! Bye
CC: Bye!

Lingua Tiwara

me: is this the final layout or any changes?
Tiwari: am sending again
me: ok...should i wait for it then?
Tiwari: no i sent rishi
u can take from him
thx

me: mukesh graph pls...
Tiwari: one sec
me: ok
Tiwari: take this one
me: tks...
Tiwari: anytime
mukesh graphic will be revised, there is some problem
pls what for that


me: pls send HUL graphic...urgent..pls..
Tiwari: it will some time
Tiwari: who is doing pannel
Tiwari: who is doing pannel today
is there any spl panel
can you send me
me: sat spl panel...
ya sending u....
Tiwari: can you try to send me
thx
5 minutes
me: got it?
Tiwari: yes
one sec
this is for HUL
me: pls send sat spl illustration
Tiwari: what is abt spl pane
panel
there is nothing
me: panel is on the four sat spl pages
Tiwari: means right one

Tiwari: is there any brief spacial pointer for the today?
like we had yesterday
me: no, not as of now...
Tiwari: ok
if you, pls let me know
thx

Tiwari: hi this is the mumbai page
me: ok...
Tiwari: do u want that i can work for delhi size also
aslo
me: will u be able to do that?
Tiwari: see if you can manage that will ok
me: ok...will do...
Tiwari: otherwise i'll do it here only

Tiwari: see this only can send you system guy
sorry this is low res file i have like there in G:
me: what pic is it?
Tiwari: gas pix
me: cool
11 minutes
Tiwari: theillustration is sending via system thankx
me: got them thanks
Tiwari: ok

The news at this hour

Gmat topper has topped the charts in the company's 'charity show'. However that has made him desperate than happy. According to latest reports, Gmat was still trying to find out how many more stars are there in the horizon.

The poor man on the bike, who will swear for Gmat's honesty, was contacted by Gmat. After telling him the name of the second charity winner in Mumbai he was asked, "who got it in Delhi?" PMOTB had no idea and could not feed him with the info. Gmat, meanwhile, kept it a secret that he too was a recipient of the 'Padma Bhushan".

Meanwhile, Gmat's girl chatted up Imelda to find out the Delhi winner. Ulta Chipkili told Imelda that Gmat and a certain James were the winners in Mumbai and then asked, "how about Delhi?" Imelda contacted this correspondent for two random names and was given two names -- Bajrangi and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. After Imelda passed on this 'information' she was greeted by laughter. Ulta Chipkili was certain that Bajrangi and TTLS were not of the same calibre of Gmat. After Imelda took a serious tone, U Chipkili was left wondering, "Is my man only as good as TTLS?" Meanwhile, she has told correspondents, "Life is beautiful." Our correspondent understands that this means that there is an airconditioner in her house now to cool her during the workout, because she had said "sultry days" earlier.

Art critic and reviewer Sasi Tiwari has threatened to stop writing reviews for his magazine over a certain letter to the editor that appeared in the magazine. Mr Tiwari is supposed to have told our correspondent that he was terribly hurt at the insult heaped on him after he had done a wonderful job. It is believed that Mr Tiwari had for the first time in his life used the spell-check and hence was all the more miffed that people were taking pot shots at his work. According to an agency report, Mr Tiwari's resignation letter got rejected as the magazine editor was unable to figure out that it was one.

Ice-cream sales in Delhi has soared ever since Stud has seriously started courting Alanankari. Mother Diary MD, in a statement here today, said that the company is making emergency arrangements for supply of ice-cream from Haryana and Uttar Pradesh to meet the demand.

Fancy Friday and Bajrangi who went missing last Friday, were seen frolicking at a mall in Noida, according to lowly-placed unreliable sources. FM is reported to have asked Bajrangi for his credit card in exchange for holding her hand. The touchy guy refused as he believed that he could get touchy for free as long as he enjoyed the patronage of Rotawala and Rakshas.

The Asterix village has been left poorer with the departure of Funky Monkey. On the last day of his show in Delhi, Funky had dinner with some close associates. Among the participants was a mobile-friendly girl who reminded this correspondent of Donald Duck. There were reports in a section of the press that Funky is courting her and was running away to Chennai because the chase was over and Funky was no longer interested in Donald. Funky has denied these reports but not that he is courting Donald.

According to another unreliable source, the Hill Goat tried to get Funky to act before he left for Chennai. Our correspondent tried to look through the keyhole but was unable to see if Funky did act. An expert, however felt that it was unlikely that Funky would have done it: "It's quite unlikely that Funky would have succeeded. You have to remember that, after all, Funky is a monkey. Goats are much more virile and active in these matters. Their mountainous origins have made them surefooted in all what they do."

That's all in this bulletin. Keep reading and do send in your comments and feedback!

Sat Sri Akal!

CC