One man, many posts

The news at this hour

Lottery winner

The guy who drew the picture of a spotted suitcase for a story on tribals fighting mining MNCs to retain their land is said to have booked a flat in anticipation of a major hike that is imminent for him. Mr Pile-on has assured him that this was his year. He is expecting a 300% hike and triple promotion. Last year’s lottery winner is supposed to have asked Pile-on, “maine kya kiya,” in his typical sing-song voice after he felt that he was being passed over for this year’s lottery. But Pile-on is supposed to have asked him, “Didn’t you get a mini, flying, lottery this month?”

Blame the headmaster

Pile-on has found newer methods to pile on. People who refuse to buy him daru and feed him anymore, are now burdened to read his short stories. One of Pile-on’s economic offences victims is supposed to have told our correspondent, “this torture is even more unbearable. Earlier, I had to just borrow from the money-lender to feed him. Now he forces me to read his short stories and asks me to comment on them. Frankly, I am unable to go through it because it has no theme or idea. He writes something to use some new words he has just learnt.”

Our Dehra Dun correspondent adds that Pile-on had developed a complex after he was shifted to a government school and this was his way of getting back at whoever was responsible in denying him a decent education.

Freedom

It is now reliably learnt that the Always Amused Man (Aam) was inducted in the last minute to take care of the ‘Freedom 16’ issue. The original pundits in charge, Messrs Sai Baba and Snake & Ladder, found the going tough and the Ringmaster intervened in time to get Aam into the act. The trio is supposed to be troubled by the thought that the nation is not yet free from mosquitoes despite tall claims. Meanwhile our correspondent was left asking, how many more years before they free us from crap?

Swift stays

Swift will stay in the circus, according to our autorickshaw correspondent. Her efforts to join a portal have been described as just a clever effort to gain a good raise. Though most popular with the previous Ringmaster, Swift found that her boot did not appeal to the new Ringmaster and hence the attempt to try other methods to keep the raise coming.